The Hematite
by Yami Horus Drako Angelus
Summary: Someone's looking after Steven, and can feel Steven's distress. His thoughts are everywhere, everyone is drifting away, HE is drifting away, the boy needs help to ground himself. (Steven x Therapy) T for... issues(?)


**The Hematite**

He was troubled.

He was afraid.

He was feeling deeply... Feeling unwell...

They knew it.

They sensed it.

They worried.

Yes, they worried. He helped them, they had to help _him_.

So many voices talked at the same time.

"Gotta get to him"

"Let's go"

"No, it's not a good idea"

"Can help him"

"No. Don't rush into things"

"Must help…!"

"Stop!"

Silence. They stayed still.

That was close, they shouldn't just let their emotions burst like that; they had to keep a clear head. What was the right course of action? They needed something for the young mind that was drifting away.

They needed to give him a piece of advice.

A piece...

Yes. Maybe a piece could be enough.

They just needed one perfect piece…

...

"I'm fine" Steven kept repeating himself as he planted the flower Cactusteven had given him. "There's nothing wrong with me… My powers are not out of control…" He took the hose and started to water the other plants. "This is fine, I'm perfectly happy. I'm home, on Earth, I have my dad and the gems… And all my friends… Who are busy at the moment; Connie's at that fancy school instead of here, Lars is leaving for space with the off colors, Sadie Killer is going for a solo career while the suspects go on with their lives…" He sighed. "But it is perfect. Everyone at Little Home School is learning and the other gems are happy, that's all that c-..."

He saw some leaves with holes.

"Who's been eating organic salad for free?!" He exclaimed and glowed in pink. "No, no…" He murmured to himself and took deep breaths as soon as he noticed his condition. "No, no, Steven, calm down, why are you losing your temper? It is not a bad thing! It's just a cute little snail or, maybe, a caterpillar that will turn into a happy little insect. Ugh… if only they could eat something that wasn't _my _plants!" He facepalmed. "And I'm doing it again! Come on! I should be happy, everyone's happy. _Dolomite, _even the diamonds are happy... in their own way, locked up in the palace." He looked around, looked at the door and then the skylight. "And I'm doing the same". He sighed again, with some fatigue in the mix, cut a few of the munched-up leaves and sighed resigned as he added some healing spit to the cut ends.

The lighting changed, the midday sun had been fully blocked by a big cloud. Just in time, he was about to climb up and close the dome's shades himself, it was a hot day after all.

"Maybe the isolation habits run the family" He wondered… Wait, did he take after the diamonds? "Nope. No, Steven-out time!" He told himself and walked towards the exit.

"Steven! Are you there?" That was Garnet's voice. Oh, _scoria, _the gems.

"We know you're in there, young man" That was Pearl, using the '_mom_ voice'.

"Uh… come back later! I'm… hunting caterpillars!" He nervously elaborated.

"That's _Basalt!_ Just open up, dude." And Amethyst sounded upset "You can hunt later".

The three gems were mad at him. He was not crazy enough for this. Pearl grounding him? He could deal with it. Garnet giving him an earful? Fine. But Amethyst too? That as a three-character-combination he was not ready to go against.

He needed to escape, but where?

He could teleport somewhere, but his hiding options were limited now that he was bigger. He would have to stay in Beach City, but he knew Garnet knew they had eyes and ears everywhere in Beach City —around every corner there was a gem that would surely try and ask him if he was okay; and, also, every single one of the older teens!—

And his dad! Goodness, his dad… He had always thought he could be able to talk about anything and everything with Greg, but this was just so complicated, he didn't want to make him worry— also, he didn't want to vent all of his negative thoughts to him, the man didn't deserve that.

He needed a good place to think, somewhere recluded that only _he _couldn't reach... IDEA!

"Steven, we only want to talk…" Spoke Amethyst and the door opened revealing Steven inside a bubble and bounced away to the beach. Most specifically, to the one place he knew a certain someone would be:

"Lion!" The pink mane appeared from behind some rocks. "I need to get in your mane, just don't tell the others." A lazy _roar_ was his answer. "Oh, and one more thing: You need to hide, somewhere far" _Roar_, again, this time it sounded a little annoyed. "Thank you, I love you! You're the best!" and the boy quartz went inside the pink pocket dimension.

Yes! He had successfully run away from the gems, now he only needed to reach the oxygen tank he had left near the magic tree —for emergencies, only— to be able to breathe until he could be sure Lion was away from the temple — and Beach City, in general—. He walked somewhere behind the treasure chest and took the tank. Yes, nothing like a good tank of oxygen for him to spend time inside his most exclusive "_clubhouse_". could surely think peacefully in here, right?

"I guess I need to talk to someone?" He said to himself. "But I can't tell the gems, they wouldn't understand". He sat on the pink-ish grass, trying not to knock down the portrait of Rose Quartz —as big, imposing and gloriously, upsetting as always—. Even though he was not in the right angle to get a glimpse of the image, Steven chose to look away from it. No, he wasn't doing this because he took after his mom; and, if he did, he was not _her_ in any way. _Fantastic. _He hadn't had any doubts about who he was since…

_Sigh._

He needed to think, but he didn't want to think about _that._ So, he let himself lay down completely and closed his eyes, trying to enjoy the silence.

…

_Gasp_…!

_GASP!_

He suddenly opened his eyes. Oh no, the tank was almost empty? When had he fallen asleep and-? "_Wait, Steven, don't panic, you still have another. Just remember to refill it..."_ He thought to himself

The boy moved the used tank and reached for a second one that had rolled a bit further away.

That's when he noticed a small bubble on the ground. Strange… this shouldn't be here. He could have sworn he had explored every inch in pocket-dimension-land around the magic tree, — '_Really, mom?'—, _could this be another bubbled gem, like Bismuth? How had he missed her in the first place? He took the bubble and examined its content: it was a dark-grey gem, it was octahedral, but it didn't have any sharp edges and the apexes seemed very smooth. However, what got his attention was the presence of some reddish-brown splotches of color that shared the same steely shine as the rest of the gray surface.

"_Is it … corrupted-?_" He thought to himself, trying to watch the gem a little closer, and accidentally popped the bubble. _Oh, man! _ Steven ducked behind the chest, trying to think what to do. A corrupted gem was something very dangerous outside, but he could manage; however, a corrupted wild gem in this space where he couldn't fight back while containing his breath? To say it was _complicated, _was an understatement.

"_UGH! AIR!" _

"Oh, what a magnificent place", a little voice said as he put on the oxygen mask. " Seems like the perfect nook for resting" That… sounded very _not-corrupted_ to him. He dared look what was behind his protective "wall" and found a gem with a fully formed anthropomorphic-physical form. It was like looking at a marionette, her body seemed very much geometric and shiny, like her gem, with some reddish-brown spots on her arms and torso. Her head was bald, her articulations were spheres and her limbs were long prisms, like an old fashioned robot on a TV show.

He was still staring, fascinated when the robot-looking gem noticed him.

"Oh! Hello, I'm Hematite. What is your name?" Steven was about to take off the oxygen mask to answer when he remembered something. He made some gestures to indicate the gem to stay there and wait for him. Steven took off the oxygen mask and closed the tank, then dived down the pink "grass" and picked outside to see where had Lion chosen to go. Apparently, the mystical feline had come to nap at some patch of grassland near a forest. After that, he held his breath and went back in and offered his hand for the gem to follow him.

_GASP!_ Oh, fresh unending air supply!

"Hi, I'm Steven! Nice to meet you". He told the gem— Hematite— after a couple of deep breaths. "I… don't know how long you've been bubbled, but the world is probably different from the last time you were out. Uhm… What's the last thing you remember?"

"Uhm… I don't know. I remember I was in a very dark place, then I reformed and saw you in that pretty place". She admitted, seemingly as naive and honest as Volleyball when spoke to him the first time.

"Interesting… " Steven commented. "Well, Hematite, let's take a walk…" Steven then turned away but looked back the moment he heard a timid:

"Uhm… Steven? Do I _have_ to walk?" He glanced at her, and for the first time noticed the robot-looking legs weren't actual legs, they seemed to be articulated limbs, like the arms, but they actually weren't. It seemed like her "pelvic area" and her legs were one single piece. She could stand, but she could _not walk, _could she be an off-color? Could she, perhaps, have been bubbled in order to be saved from being shattered?

"Oh… You need help to move around?"

"Oh, no. I actually can move on my own, just not by _walkin_g" She said and then her body proceeded to float above the ground and moved forward.

"Wow. You can float, awesome!" He complimented her.

"Is it alright?"

"Yeah, don't worry. We say we go and 't_ake a walk', _ but it doesn't necessarily mean we both have to do the walking, just that we move by ourselves, without any vehicles." Steven then took some steps to see if she could keep it up. He was fascinated, a gem that also had gravitational powers was new. "Now, just in case you're worried about the diamond authority or anything I must tell you that they've softened and are now benevolent rulers; all gems are now free to express themselves and their feelings"

"That sounds nice" Hematite answered, Steven wasn't sure of what she was feeling. Maybe she didn't care? Or, maybe she didn't comprehend what the implications where?

"Yes. So, if you want to do the same things you did in Homeworld, that would be good; and if you don't, it will also be good, as long as you don't hurt anyone" Steven explained, feeling a little sweat forming in the back of his head. He wasn't prepared for introducing a new gem to life on earth, he didn't have any Little Home School pamphlets with him and he wasn't sure what this gem's default purpose was to try and show her anything different. "For example… Oh, if you want to have a different form, you can do it" He pointed at her general direction.

"Is something wrong with my physical form?"

"No, no, no, no! What I mean is that... _if_ you feel like you want to change it, you _can_ do it". He explained, a broad smile on his face, although the anxiety inside of him made it look a little forced.

"Ah—" She said, a little frown showing in her steely features. "I guess I had never thought about that. Uhm..." She looked at herself and then closed her eyes, her arms tightly pressed against her torso, her hands tightly rolled into fists, her shoulders pulled up, and her face to the ground, almost hiding her neck. Then a particular shine came off of her, and the lower side of her body shifted into the form of an inverted pyramid and she also materialized a flowy mini skirt over it and something like a tiny, ruffled poncho appeared over her shoulders, covering only half of her torso. Her head remained a round, smooth surface, except for her gem, that popped proudly from the upper right side. And now that Steven was _actually_ paying attention to the details of her appearance, the same patches of red and brown on the gem were on her body too: there was a large cluster of reddish spots in the back of one of her hands, and on the opposite arm's elbow, and her lower body also had them, almost looking like… very aesthetic cracks. "How do I look?" She asked.

"Shiny". Steven answered, trying to smile. "But the most important thing is if you like it"

"I do, actually", was her automatic answer. "I think I feel… more comfortable", she said and twirled a bit. "It's not easy to be a 'perfect' pilar..." _Pillar? _ Was she supposed to be like those gems in the walls of the diamond's palace?

Suddenly, Steven's ringtone went off. The boy seemed troubled, it was Pearl. Against every piece of reason inside heis mind yelling at him he should speak to the gems and discuss his feelings with them, he decided to press '_ignore' _and sighed defeated. He might have healing powers, but he surely felt very sick at the moment. If only Cactusteven had not told anyone what he had vented about. No. If he hadn't brought Cactus steven to life in the first place… No. IF only he hadn't told Cactusteven all of his intimate most dark thoughts —and without context— he wouldn't be feeling even more lost and lonely...

"Why do you seem distressed?" Hematite questioned, floating down until she was some ten centimeters above the ground.

"I'm not, distressed. I'm just…" Words left him. He was not distressed… well, yes, maybe a little, but he didn't want to tell all his problems to someone he had just met. He would just give her a bad impression of him. What kind of savior of the universe was he? How could he have a heart-to-heart with a gem and help them change their mind and make the world better when he couldn't even help himself understand how to manage his own rampaging feelings? And no, he couldn't just act like this and not give an explanation, _he needed a valid explanation _that didn't sound like an excuse to act like a jerk, which he didn't want to be!

No. He wasn't troubled.

He wasn't upset!

He just couldn't, he had everything he needed!

Actually, he was better off than other teens, right? He was healthy, he knew and respected limits, all civil, moral and even transit limits. He was a good kid, he shouldn't be feeling troubled!

He was fine. Fine. Absolutely fine. Fine. Fine. He. Was.

He was Steven Universe!

Well, at least he thought he _would _be fine if he kept repeating it to himself.

"I'm... fine" He finally responded in a chocked voice.

"You _do _have some signs of distress, are you sure your not-…?"

"I'm not distressed!" He yelled and, a pink glow later, a great crevice had opened between them. "Oh, no!" He exclaimed and just a few seconds later, the ground where he was standing gave in too and he fell.

"Steven!" The gem called and went down the crevice.

…

He tried to float his way out, but he strangely couldn't. All he could do was protect himself from the landing with a bubble. The crevice was, perhaps, some 10 meters deep. He saw around him and noticed the crevice had reached the forest, there were some trees partially fallen inside and something that looked like the body of a great oak in the bottom. Great! He had killed an old tree!

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He repeated, looking ashamed and covering his face with both hands, but he seemed horrified as soon as he noticed they were still glowing in pink. He had lost control again. Steven felt like crying, what was happening to him? It was like he wasn't himself anymore. Since when did he start to think ugly thoughts about the gems? When had he started to make excuses to not talk to them? When had he started to be… this mess?

"Did I upset you?" Oh, Hematite. His stupid thoughts! He forgot about the gem he was accompanying.

"Oh, no. It wasn't you…" Steven murmured and passed his sleeve over his eyes to try and hide the tears forming in them. "I'm… just… not as fine as I thought, I guess…" he murmured, not noticing the gem floating his way to him.

"It looks to me that you're trying to repress your feelings". The gem said, looking at him innocently, then she shifted her attention to their surroundings. "And, for the look of it… very strong ones"

"Yeah… I must admit, they've been a little wild lately, but don't worry. I'm working on keeping them under control."

"Control them?" Hematite tilted her head to the side. "How is that?"

"Oh, you know. _Control _them. Like, when somebody says a joke in a place where you're supposed to be as silent as possible and you try not to laugh. Or… when somebody says something that makes you mad but you act as if nothing happened"

"Is it a good idea, though?" That surprised Steven a little "You think you're controlling them, but you're not, you're just hurting yourself. Usually, if you laugh when you shouldn't, you wait a moment until it is fine to laugh, and if you're angry, you try to forget it, not keep the wrath in."

"Well, sometimes it is better to keep things _in, _hidden from the world, especially if your stupid powers are fueled by your emotions." Steven insisted feeling irritated with this gem. As if physically stating his opinion as immovable, he sat down cross-legged with a frown. "I just want everything to be perfect again. I miss improvising with Sadie and the Suspects, I miss singing with my dad, I miss my relationship with the gems, I just… miss being happy...", the quartz boy finished with a heavy sigh

"Perfect?" Hematite questioned. "Not everything has to be perfect to be happy"

"Well, with me, it has!" He exclaimed and the pink glow came back "There are things I shouldn't be feeling. See this destruction? That's not me! I'm supposed to be a healer, a helper if I'm not it, who am I? I don't want _this_ to be me! I must get rid of them, ignore them. Something! I just want to be _myself _again, I don't want to become…" '_Pink Diamond', _he thought and produced an instant of silence

"If you're feeling too much, give yourself permission to feel one thing at a time". Hematite told him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I can't! If my emotions are out of control, my powers are out of control...!" He insisted feeling suddenly overwhelmed and fearing the pink glow could come back again.

"Steven, calm down". The gem told him, in a soft voice. He was trying, he was honestly trying! '_Come on, Steven!' _He thought. '_Think of pretty flowers, cute kittens and puppies… veggie hamburgers… Rocking with dad... PB&J sandwiches… Spending time with Connie…' _ Connie.

"_The sun is bright, our shirts are clean, we're sitting up above the sea. Come on and share this jam with me…" _He sang quietly ant a quick peace, like he was reciting a mantra, and felt some tears come to his eyes, but he didn't stop —even when he felt his throat hurt—. A couple of verses in, he slowed down and the pink glow faded. He seemed tranquil enough to be able to actually sing, and he relaxed enough to raise his voice and voice the last verse: "_Ingredients in harmony, we mix together perfectly, come on and share this jam with me…" _

A few moments of silence passed. Hematite never looked away from him. The teen felt guilty at the first impression he had probably left on her.

"Are you better now?" She asked, her tone being nothing but friendly.

"A little…" Was his honest answer.

"A little is _a _lot, considering your powers."

"Ugh! I wish I could control this power." Steven pouted "I'm_...!_"

"That word again!" This time it was Hematite's turn to frown and pout. She looked annoyed.

"What word?"

"_Control_". She flatly answered. "You keep saying you need to '_control' _your emotions, but when you say 'control', what _you_ actually mean is 'to limit' them. To limit yourself, and that can hurt you." The steely-looking gem shapeshifted again, this time making the inverted pyramid short enough to look steven in the eye and let herself touch the ground beside him. "You also say you have empathic powers, if that's the case, you should know every feeling, every sentiment, is meant to do something". Steven's frown softened. That did make sense.

"But what if my powers hurt someone before I can't sort my stupid heart…"

"Sort your heart?" Hematite asked, puzzled.

"I mean… to classify... identify what is it that I'm feeling and why exactly, so that I can… decide what to do with it, give it a place"

"Are you referring to your feelings as something that can be boxed and be put away?

"I… yes? Well, not exactly but..." The boy admitted. "It might be nice, that way I could not become a time bomb of feelings."

"Well, If you think of yourself as a weapon, the ammunition could be your emotions. The more intense the emotion is, the more powerful it is the ammunition. Right now, you're a loaded weapon, you need to be discharged, or you become a time bomb". Steven was not happy with thinking of himself as a weapon, even when he had that impression about his gem-self, why did he call himself a time bomb?

'_Oh, maybe because that's what you are becoming' _a little voice in his head answered him. Since when was his inner voice so sassy?

"May I suggest something?" Steven looked at her, prompting her to keep talking. "Try to think of your feelings as your voice"

"My voice?"

"Feelings might seem good or bad, but they are not. They're just feelings, they come and go. And the way they entwine and mix create different experiences just like sounds and music". She explained and Steven almost got sidetracked by the thought that she might have been one of those few gems in charge of entertaining the diamonds through some type of art. "Your feelings need to balance, to… harmonize, as you said. And I think it would be easier if you let them out freely".

"Yeah… that doesn't sound like a good idea" Steven said and decided the ground was more important than this conversation about his adolescent mind.

"Just a moment ago, when you tried to sing without me hearing it, it sounded like it was hurting you. When you try to repress your own voice, if you keep doing it for a long time, you might hurt yourself badly, you might even not be able to talk again." _Huh?_ Steven blinked. "When you stopped repressing your voice, it was better, wasn't it?"

"Y-yes…" He stuttered, that thing about 'hurting his voice'... that… sounded familiar…

"_Look Schtu-ball, the voice is something that you can't just force to bend at your will" _He remembered Greg telling him when he was very little. "_You play with it without pushing it, or you'll get hurt"._

"_But I want to sound as cool as you, dad!" _His younger-self excitedly and stubbornly answered, still-too-big-ukulele in hand.

"_I know, kiddo, but you can't reach low notes at the time, so don't push it." _Greg patiently explained, "_If you want to make your voice louder and you don't like the sound, don't force it to be loud, you'll learn when the time is right. Just find a way to like that sound. If you want to sing quietly, don't be too strict with yourself, relax and you'll find a nice harmony."_

"_But I want to sing for your birthday! It must be perfect!"_ Greg laughed at little Steven's antics.

"_If you don't force it, and don't hurt your throat, I promise, it will be perfect"._

"Play with it and let it out... and you'll have your harmony", Steven found himself quoting his father's words.

"Precisely!" Hematite assured him. Oh, yeah, he was with this gem at the bottom of the crevice. She was smiling kindly, no indication of any judgment towards him was visible. Maybe the fact that she didn't know anything about him and the Diamonds, the new universal order and all that had helped since he was fourteen… '_Oh, sweet stars. Stop it, brain!'_ Oh, the inner voice finally said something good.

"Hematite, we should get out of here…"

"You need help to move around?" Hematite asked, shifting her lower body to its previous state of an inverted pyramid.

"If you don't mind, please", the quartz boy asked and the gem took him by the arm and started to float all the way outside. "Oh! Wait, I need to do something first!"

The boy asked her to take him to where the fallen tree was. The trunk was touching the ground, the foliage was to his right and the roots to his left; Steven looked up and noticed there had been other trees that were now resting against each other as if forming a small roof over the crevice, like giving the fallen giant a little house. Too bad, this way, the fallen tree couldn't receive enough sunlight to survive down there —_if_ its roots could even find their way down to the ground—. It had been oak, and by the many kinds of fungi adorning the base of the trunk and the upper part of the giant twisted roots, it was, at least, more than a century old.

"I'm sorry, old man" Steven apologized. "I hope you can forgive me". He said and kissed the fallen tree. The healing spit's effect was immediate. The oak's roots started to look for nutritious ground and the branches magically tried to reach for the exterior. What was most impressive, and unexpected, was for the branches to divide and multiply until they reached the surface; and the roots expanded all around, basically forming a web where new fungi colonies sprouted.

"I guess he forgives you" Hematite spoke. Steven smiled. It had been some time since he had felt this moved and at peace.

"Let's go, Hematite." The boy said before they both went back to the surface, and he called the lazy mystical feline.

…

The sun had already set when a portal opened in the most public part of Beach City's beach and Lion came out of it; Steven riding on his back, and Hematite following close. Steven seemed to be calmer than he had been that morning while animatedly talking to the floating gem.

"You're going to love Little Home School!" He said. "There are so many gems that will be eager to help you get used to life on earth".

"Oh, sounds fun". The gem answered, still not showing any traces of actually understanding. Steven thought she might be one of those people that never show what they are actually thinking.

"There's the temple!" He pointed to the cliff that was still in the distance.

"Race you!" She exclaimed and darted there at high speed.

"Hey, no fair!" Almost immediately he made Lion run in the same direction, he was running so fast his main seemed to flatten and taken the shape of a bullet's head (or so it seemed in Steven's mind). At some point, he got to see the steely gem get behind them, and he laughed, prompting Lion to keep up the pace until they reached the steps to the house.

"We won!" He exclaimed and looked around. "Hematite?" He called, no answer was received. He explored the beach and the cliffs with Lion, trying to find the steely gem, but he didn't find her. "Hey, Hematite! Come on!" Could she had felt scared of meeting the Homeworld gems? "Don't be shy! The other gems are nice!" Nothing. Ok… this was the first time a gem disappeared without a trace. Maybe she was just hiding or maybe she didn't trust people easily. She said the last thing she remembered was being in a dark place, could it be that she was scared of the dark? Maybe she made herself small enough to hide in a seashell…? Wait, no, please stars, it would take him a very long time to check every seashell on the beach…

Lion gave a loud yawn.

"Sorry, Lion. I guess we can look for her in the morning, searching is easier in daylight"

The feline slowly turned around in the direction of the temple, walking lazily, for which the boy was grateful. Steven decided he would use that time to think of something other than the stranger gem, like how he would talk to the gems. No. About how he would face _his family, _ about, well, _everything: _Cactusteven, his new (wild) power and his troubled thoughts, new phobias and fears; and newfound doubts. This was not going to be easy. He knew he would surely get a sermon about running away or not answering his phone, and yet, he still felt dread for the eventual intervention. Maybe he could just slip into the house without being seen and just sleep until tomorrow morning? _Pumice, _He was acting like a kid even when he was supposed to have matured already, he thought he shouldn't even need to tell his parent figures about this issues, he should be the one to figure it out on his own...

"_Why? You're not a child anymore, Little Mermaid?". _His inner voice had none of it.

...

"He used to be so cute…" Amethyst said as he admired a photo of a young Steven, Greg and the gems "We should have gone after him". She told the other two. "Greg, I know you said he needs space now-and-then, but come on! What if he decides he doesn't want to come home again?"

"Well, I know my son, he wouldn't just do that."

"I know him too, and I know that, but I've been a horrible example to him in the past!" Amethyst exclaimed, honestly anxious with the teen's absence.

"What's your point? You mean that you're afraid he might have ideas like the ones you used to have or that you fear _you_ influenced him to be like that?" Greg questioned, in an effort to comprehend the gem's thoughts.

"I don't know, man! I am just worried, he's out there with a troubled head". Amethyst exclaimed.

"Amethyst, maybe it would be good for you to have a snack. I would have expected Pearl to be this uneasy any other Tuesday"

"She is, Greg." The purple gem pointed at the clear one. "In her head".

"Excuse you? Allow me to clarify: I am a different gem now, and he is currently a fully developed and healthy young human boy. He's responsible, _knows how_ and _can_ take care of himself. There is no need to worry, he will be totally fine." She declared and might have been able to convince Amethyst of her calmness —as much as she thought she had already fooled Greg—, had it not been for the images of Steven being trapped in a mudslide, falling in a pit of lava, being carried away by a river's current or some giant bird of prey and freezing in the middle of the tundra, being projected from her forehead (apparently, against her will, if her attempt to stop it by covering her gem with her hands was any indication).

"It's fine. He'll be back soon, after all...", Garnet adjusted her glasses, and the oven's alarm sounded with a loud '_ding', _"today's veggie pizza for dinner". Then she looked at the door's direction and added: "And before it gets cold".

"He's a teenager, it's quite normal at his age not wanting to be bothered and not wanting to be alone at the same time" Greg calmly explained the gems.

"I… might doubt that" The voice of the boy made them go directly to the door, where he was standing with Lion. He looked sad and a bit guilty, but mostly worried.

"Steven! Oh, stars I was about to go look for you…" Pearl was about to run but Garnet prevented her from moving. Pearl pretended to cough in her fist and stiffly continued. "Not like I think you're not capable of taking care of yourself; you're all grown up, after all… it's not like you need us to hug you and protect you from the world at all times..."

"Actually… A hug would be nice." He admitted, to which Amethyst happily obliged and half tackled him to the ground in a tight hug that trapped his arms against his body, then his dad came too and covered them both with his arms, as well as Pearl and, finally, Garnet. For the teen, tears started to find their way out of his eyes.

"Sorry guys…"

"For what?" Greg questioned, half aware of what had been happening to Steven thanks to the gems. They broke the group hug and Steven went straight to it on the couch.

"For Cactusteven and… you know…" He broke free from the hug and went to sit on the couch. "Cactusteven repeated all the things I said to him… I'm a horrible plant-dad."

"Steven, you are right, you were being a horrible plant-parent. The question is: what turned you into one?". Was Garnet's blunt piece of wisdom; needless to say it hurt. The boy looked down and seemed to try and make himself smaller, especially after Greg went to sit next to him along with Pearl.

"I… I don't know". Steven said, not like an affirmation, but like a frustrated recognition. Greg, being the compassionate father he was, placed his arms around his son and let him rest against him. Steven kept weeping, not really wanting to talk, staying like this in Greg's arms would be enough for him. "I-I feel like the world is d-drifting away and I can-I can't seem to prevent it from happening, everything is... changing too quickly for... m-me to catch up." He stuttered amongst stray tears and starting to turn pink. "My friends are either traveling or becoming famous, finding love interests, creating businesses… studying abroad…" He felt the waterworks coming back to him, but it was either that or the strange waves of rage he had been feeling lately.

"Oh, Schtu-ball…" Greg seemed to be about to say something only to be interrupted by the boy.

"Everyone is growing up, and I'm still the same. I learn new things but I don't know how to keep up with the world. It's like I'm bubbled away, and I can only see what's happening. I'm there but I'm not part of it. I just… don't really understand, it's like I don't know how the world works anymore... like… like I'm still some kid".

"Steven, you're way too young to feel that way, you're seventeen!" Steven cleaned his tears and sat straighter, so he could look at his father. What did he mean? He didn't seem concerned, well, at least, not in the way the teen had anticipated. "I know because that's what I felt when I was twenty-five"

"You did?"

"Steven, you should know by now that I never really fitted with my family, they were aviators, hoarding travelers whose lives' meaning was in the clouds, I was just a grounded dreamer, more at peace seeing the beauty of the sky from below". Greg said with a little melancholy, his relationship with his family was not great, but it wasn't bad, at all. "I was sure I had to compensate and tried to please them. So, I tried to learn, if not how to pilot, just how to help them; you know: how to repair the engines, how to understand flying routes and all that… but I couldn't because that was not my passion".

Memories started to flow through Greg's mind: endless nights trying to understand the basics of aeronautics, tears shed after failing what seemed to be every test, classes where he would feel inexplicably tired, friends and classmates waking him up at the end of the classes he fell asleep in, feeling stupid for not solving the easiest physics problems as fast as his classmates. Some less pleasant things to remember, like allnighters trying to finish projects he barely understood, his family's expressions when he announced not being able to come back home for a break in order to take extra classes, his teachers' disappointed and exasperated expressions or the time he failed a class after falling asleep during the exam. There were good memories, of course: some were the romantic ideas about the hard life of a student, some of the times when he would admire the sunrise and sunset from different classrooms, and the people he got to know and he wished he had kept in contact with.

"I had just dropped out of college when everyone started to move out of town; there was nothing grounding me anymore, and I lost all direction: sometimes, I would spend all day watching TV, others I would do all kinds of odd jobs to support myself or walk aimlessly through the town and think of the old days and agonizing over the prospect of everyone leaving to never return". Greg glanced up at the window, part of him wishing he had known what he did now back in the day. "I once talked to Vidalia about this and, according to her, it seems like growing up I convinced myself that if I couldn't make my family happy, I would never be happy ".

"Dad... I never thought..." Steven was truly surprised. He _knew_ his dad had been sad for the loss of his mom, but he had a hard time picturing him feeling as lost as the teenager himself had been. Greg gave him a soft smile. "How did you get out of it?"

"Heh… it wasn't easy. It took me some wandering around, reflection, le and talking with friends. Until one time someone invited me to a big rock festival in Empire City, full of independent musicians and some talent hunters, the main event was a big concert. I think that was what reminded me of how much I love music and making people smile. That's when I rediscovered my guitar and started to create my own melodies and write my first songs. I was now Greg Universe, I had knowledge of different areas that would be useful and I had my passion for making people happy _through_ music"

"So, that's what it took? A concert?" Amethyst intervened, reminding Steven that the other gems were still there.

"Well, that was _my_ case. Everyone's experience is different". Greg turned his attention back to his son. "Maybe you need to learn new things, maybe you need a change of scenery or maybe you need time to think, and to talk. I don't know, only time will tell "

"I wish it could be faster" Steven's made himself express his thoughts. "I don't like being a bag of resentment and desolation. I hate it-!" He paused, new tears forming and rolling away from his eyes. "I… hate me". He admitted and, instinctively, reached for his father's chest to cry, like he used to do when he was little. Greg kissed his forehead and rocked him back and forth like he used to do.

"There, there, my boy…" Greg murmured for Steven. "Just let it out. It's ok. It's not your fault".

"I'm sorry. Cactusteven repeated everything he heard me say, and…" He chocked out in tears,then looked at each of the gems present. "Guys, I'm sorry, I never meant to mock you or be mean to you... I guess I was making excuses for myself to not talk about things and… I guess I'm jealous of the fact that you don't seem to be as troubled as I feel… I should be better than this, I… I'm sorry."

"Schtu-ball, we're your family, we will listen to you, always". Greg caught him again in a comfortable embrace. "All you need to do is talk."

"I… I'm… Sorry, I thought you would never understand".

"Steven," Garnet came forward and placed a hand on the teen's shoulder. "Everyone in this room has questioned their identities and their place in the world at least once". Garnet assured him. "We all have assumed positions in other people's lives that were temporary; and yet, we assumed they would be forever. We all have bottled-up emotions, feelings of frustration, despair, hopelessness. We all doubted about our place in the world at the moment the one thing we believed to be our rock disappeared ".

"Pink Diamond herself thought that, without a colony, she couldn't be even considered a diamond." Pearl added she seemed to have been debating herself is this information could be adequate for the teen. "And Rose Quartz, after the gem war, was puzzled and lost about her own purpose on planet Earth, now that there was neither a diamond authority coming after her nor free gems with whom to build a new world with" Steven listened to this and he was shocked to hear, maybe for the first time ever, something about his mom that was not _perfection, _ coming from the Crystal Gems. "Your mother took some time alone in the desert to reflect on what to do next".

"How long did it take her?"

"A few decades". Pearl shifted in her place. "She, returned sure that her purpose was to keep this planet from harm's way, that's when we started to collect all the corrupted gems." Pearl then paused and smiled melancholically. "But she would go back to the desert often".

"Guys, I…" His belly rumbled —and nobody could mistake it with a snore from Lion—, and sheepishly changed the subject. "I think this could be the right moment to get some dinner, I am starving" The gems recognized something behind those tired red-from-crying eyes. Something had been lifted from his shoulders.

"I think you'll enjoy today's recipe", Garnet said, adjusting her shades. "Yellow pepper, mushrooms, and artichokes; sprinted with salt, pepper, a pinch of paprika-"

"And enough cheese to turn it into a _quesadilla _if you want_!"_ Amethyst interrupted to illustrate her idea. Steven seemed amused with this turn of events.

"Hey, dad…" He called Greg, who was, about to get up from the couch. "Can we… talk more often of, you know, this stuff?"

"Of curse, Steven. What kind of a father would I be if I didn't?" Then, he joked. "Besides, I could use this time to pass you some of my valuable knowledge, I still have my repertoire of jokes for when you have your own kids"

"Dad!" Steven pretended to be offended and laughed with his dad. "_I guess this is the end of today's session. _His inner voice couldn't be more correct, but the teen was now very much motivated to keep doing… whatever this group-therapy-ish thing was.

…

"Steven!" Peridot called excitedly as soon as she saw the half-human appear in Little Homeworld after so many weeks. "You're here! Look, look, look, look! We made a statue!" The green exclaimed as she took him by the arm and put him in the direction of a big monument that looked like a big doll made of mud, with three twigs placed where its arms were supposed to.

"Oh, impressive...!" The teen said, an eyebrow arching as he cocked his head.

"Why did you make a statue of... Smokey Quartz?" Amethyst inquired.

"No, no, no! That's Steven! See? The founder of Little Home School, when he used to belong in the shorty team". Steven looked even closer. Amethyst was about to announce that the resemblance was "_uncanny_", but Lapuslazuli spoke first.

"We were going to put it on the main square, but we still needed to cover up this hole"

"Hole? What hole?" The visitors echoed, puzzled.

"Oh, you know. That tunnel that goes all through the earth's crust from that time when the cluster almost came to the surface and destroyed the planet. Also, remember that time the cluster formed a giant arm to fight the diamonds? They made a mess of the terrain." Peridot Explain. "Lazuli has been trying to fix it without causing any major disturbances, in the meanwhile, we'll just make sure nobody falls in with this!"

"O...k…?" was Steven's awkward reaction. Amethyst's giggles were out before she even thought about it.

"Anyway, it is good to see you around! We're about to start an experimental art class, you should join us, we've missed you". Steven smiled sheepishly, so Amethyst intervened.

"Maybe some other time, right now we're looking for someone. Has any of you seen a new gem around here?"

"A new gem…?" Bismuth echoed, as she approached, startling them all.

"Yes, I found her yesterday, but I looked away for some minutes and she was gone" He confessed. "She's shiny like metal and has some red and brown spots all over, and her gem is on the side of her head. Her name is Hematite" Peridot seemed taken aback.

"A hematite?" Lapislazuli questioned like any human would do if somebody claimed to have seen a mythical creature. "That's unusual".

Peridot, on the other hand, laughed out loud and said:

"Steven, I didn't emerge yesterday, everyone knows hematites are extinct"

"What?! What do you mean?" Steven questioned, a little shocked, as well as Amethyst.

"Oh, right. You don't know, sorry." Peridot stood a little straighter and cleared her throat before solemnly giving her lecture about the subject: "Hematites used to have gravity control and magnetic capabilities. The diamonds made them whenever colonies needed adjustments in their gravity. They were supposed to _ground_ everything accordingly."

"Oh yeah, I heard that!" Bismuth interrupted, and seemed to take over Peridot's 'class'. "Hematites were supposed to be the ultimate foundation for colonizing. They say, sometimes, there were places a couple of millennia from self-destruction and needed a stronger gravity in order to exploit the resources in them". Peridot waited, a little annoyed for Bismuth's interruption, and carried on with her lesson.

"Yes, and others, there were planets that just needed a small push to be taken apart to make the most of the inner-planet resources, like the core"

"Ok, so, by 'extinct' you mean they stop making them at Homeworld?" Steven pushed the subject.

"No. For the colonies' well-being, they ceased to exist".

"Whuuuut?" Was Amethyst's expression of disbelief. "Did the D's shattered them?"

"Oh, no, no." Bismuth raised her hands in defense. "That wasn't necessary, Hematites were used in a very… _literal way. _Uh-Hum..." The big gem sought down for the green gem's eyes for help. Peridot happily went back to educate the Earthlings about that particular kind of gem. So, she took a stick and started to draw on the ground.

"Hematite's were made and immediately used for easing transportation of materials for the diamonds' palaces, ships and other heavy stuff. They did not only had the power to levitate and whatever they wanted but, also, to affect gravitational systems and forces around them. When enough Hematites were made, they would be left _inside_ of the colony. Sometimes as deep as the core; others, they would be placed superficially all around the planet's crust. They were returned to the planet's ground; and their gem would fuse permanently with the grounds, assuring the planet's gravity's stability for eons to come."

"Well I guess I met the last one", Steven declared stubbornly optimistic. The three gems in front of him looked at each other.

"Are you sure she didn't say her name was something different? Like… Cassiterite?" Bismuth asked. "I heard they looked pretty much like Hematites used to…"

"No. She said it clearly: Hematite. I talked to her yesterday and she has those gravitational powers Peridot said. She's short, but you don't notice because she gravitates a few inches over the ground, because she can't move the lower part of her body, not even if she shapeshifts". Lapislazuli came to the boy who was trying to convince everyone (and himself) that he was not crazy.

"Sorry, Steven". Lapislazuli placed a hand on his shoulder. "No Hematites have been created in almost six thousand years. The last ones were specially made for a colony on a piece of rock with erratic seasons; a total of three moons were added in order to keep it all balanced enough to work".

"I… think I need a moment…" Steven walked away and saw on the ground while idly taking out his phone. Le sat there staring at the screen for various minutes without moving before opening her text messaging app, and time became a blur.

The only things Steven was aware of were the flood of messages that followed that first message, at exactly 11:42 AM, where he wrote: "I think I just met a ghost gem".

At 11:44 AM, Connie replied with a short: "Really? Why?"

At three minutes past midday, Steven sent a message describing his experience with the gem he lost.

By 12:15, Connie had sent Steven as many pdfs and URLs to pages about ghosts and the paranormal. The messages ceased for a few hours (probably due to Connie's classes), then the theories came: an impostor? an amnesic gem? a fusion? A robot? A half-robot-half-gem?

A ZOMBIE GEM?!

"Now I'll have nightmares!" Steven exclaimed during his videocall with Connie. "First that zombie dragon…"

"Spawn of the devil" Connie muttered and noded lightly"

"...and now a zombie gem!" Connie giggled and felt a little guilty about disturbing Steven's peaceful sleep.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I have a new theory."

"Do, tell, Miss Knight, please"

"You said that gem helped you figure something some things out, correct?" Steven noded. "Well, if she appeared when you most needed her, she might be your guardian angel"

…

The piece had returned.

"We did it" It spoke, and they rejoiced.

They had reunited.

"Now…" They responded "... we'll leave the rest to him".

"Now, we become one again" The small, smooth octahedral gem with the shine of dark-grey steel and splotches of brown and reddish color separated in various smaller shards, each with a different shade of red, brown and gray. The shards encrusted themselves with the others, each in a different place around the cluster and in the cluster.

They didn't have a perfect piece, but they had many imperfect pieces that couldn't take form and walk on the surface; when put together, however, they could be the one perfect piece. One perfect piece that could ground the poor boy whose spirit was wandering, instead of taking apart a planet. A piece perfect enough to get to the surface and find him and pretend to be someone else, someone _whole _(the complicated part had been shifting to a smaller size and get into his pocket, then out again and bubble themselves).

The cluster was invaded by the joyful feeling of both, helping Steven and the fragmented hematites maintaining the planet together instead of their original purpose.

**The end... for now.**

…

…

**...**

_Yami-Horus: Hi! I hope you liked this story. I don't really have a lot to say about it, I just remembered my many fanfics with the "guardian angel oc" element (Such as Rainy Bloo, which is a Teen Titans fanfic from… 2009 ) and the other's that remained as just ideas in my head (I had a guardian angel figure for Danny Phantom, another for TMNT and a third one… i just remember the name but not for which story it was meant to be in). And I thought: "Hey, I should bring therapy to Steven, like I used to with other characters in the good old days" and ¡POOF! There was Hematite, a perfectly imperfect piece of the cluster_.

_Why a Hematite? Well, because of its mystic properties. I found that it is used for meditating as a way of grounding._

_Now... uhm... can I please have a review? _


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